A Sober Dinner is So Much Simpler
Tonight, my family and I went out to eat at a family restaurant after my younger son’s little league game. We have gone there quite a bit, but as soon as we sat down, I realized we hadn’t been there since I’ve been sober. In the last year or so of my drinking, when I was on my serial moderation plans, plus my husband had started taking notice, bringing everyone there for dinner was one of the ways I would create acceptable occasions to drink.
I remember vividly getting there and feeling impatient for my first glass of wine, and being vaguely annoyed by the small size of the glasses they serve.
I remember wanting about four of them over the course of dinner and trying to be happy with my two. I would have difficulty focusing on much else.
Walking down the street after leaving tonight, I remembered other times leaving that place. Feeling the tease of a small buzz. Feeling relief and anticipation if I knew I had more wine at home. And if I didn’t have any, stressing over whether I could go get some without pissing my husband off. Usually, desire to drink more would win out over that concern. So there I would be, having finagled an acceptable “couple glasses of wine with dinner out” moderation scenario, only to end the night drinking more than intended, again. Of course, there were a few occasions when I did stop at that couple of glasses at the restaurant, but never without great effort, and dissatisfaction.
Wow, what a convoluted and twisted way to spend an evening, either way.
So what happened tonight? I had dinner with my family. We had a nice time. We came home. The end.
© soberfire, 2015